Dawn breaking, mountains of zombies slain!

Hello today!  I welcome you with open arms because I realized this morning that I survived the Twilight craze.  This must be what it feels like to see the dawn breaking over a mountain of newly slain zombies, knowing that I've survived yet another night of the Zombie Apocalypse terror.  Shouldn't there be some sort of triumphant sounding orchestral number playing?  All I can hear is the pounding of my heart.  It's over.  It's all over, and I survived.  *sob*

Now, how to survive a revival of 80's style?

Seriously.  Where the hell are the fashion police when a newscaster in 2011 is wearing NFL sanctioned shoulder pads as dress shoulder pads?  You've got to wonder whether Angelina Jolie had permission to borrow that gown for the Golden Globes from Joan Collins.  Why, oh why, do we need to bring back a fashion sense that dictates, "it's ok for your thighs to be freezing because of your french cut leotard, but your calves mustn't be exposed!"

The only part of my body that doesn't reject a resurgence of 80's style is my hair.  It thinks it now has carte blanche for frizz, and is wondering why I'm not at the ready with a can of AquaNet.  My feet, however, dread the thought of white LA Gear high-tops, my thighs jiggle nervously at the suggestion of spandex and my waist laughs audibly (more a *gurgle* than a *giggle*) at the idea of cinch-it-belt-it.  My ears go on strike at the grocery store when some smooth voiced young person is crooning what should be a gravel voiced Cyndi Lauper song broadcasts over the "in-store radio."  Like, gag me with a spoon!

Of course, there was a lot to love about the 80's.  People weren't expected to hate their very existence owing to their contribution to pollution, global warming, etc.  We were allowed to be conspicuous consumers provided we had a "Save the Whales" t-shirt in our closet.  At the ripe age of 10 I recall saying to my mother, "c'mon, mom, it's the 80's!"  It didn't matter what the cause, the answer was the decade.

Still, I hope to be able to greet a day in the not distant future in a similar manner as today:  Hello tomorrow, I anticipate you with open arms.  You brought an end to the resurgence of 80's fashion, and I survived to see you dawn!  Provided you're not bringing a renewal of 90's fashion, that is...I don't think the fashion world could survive Hammer Pants.